Controversial

Bringing Yoga to Mars in 2018 – here’s how to Think Big

Are you spending days and nights clad in Lululemon attire? Or are you on the fence about the company’s way of promoting yoga?

No matter which camp you belong to, you have to give them one point: They’re dreaming big. They’re not afraid of trying to make yoga a world-wide movement (of luon-wearing people, naturally). And they’re prepared to laugh about the oddities this brings up (remember the video Sh*t yogis say? If not, watch it here).

Now CEO Christine Day stepped down. The company quickly came up with a job ad that amalgamates everything people LOVE and HATE about Lululemon. 

Every line transpires the desire to dream big and have outlandish goals. But (and did we really expect anything else?) the ad also includes some stuff that will make the toenails of many yogis curl up. Examples? Here you go: The new CEO “owns yoga” and “on Friday afternoons hits up wheatgrass and tequila shots”. In case you’re wondering, the latter is called work/life balance. 

Full ad text below (and if you feel like applying, do it here):

CEO
description
You report to no one, you are the CEO (duh). You are passionate about doing chief executive officer type stuff like making decisions, having a vision and being the head boss person.
a day in the life of a chief executive officer
– You communicate powerfully, often through Sanskrit
– You are disciplined, focused and can hold headstand for at least 10 minutes
– You’re a long-term thinker. You already have a plan to bring yoga and luon to Mars by 2018
– You break all the rules like getting your OM-on (loudly) whenever the urge arises
– You elevate and cultivate the level of talent within the senior leadership team by holding The Bachelor lululemon. Only one successful SVP will get the final rose
– Not only do you lead the organization to create components for people to live long, healthy and fun lives, you know the secret to how they got the caramel in the Caramilk bar
– You wear The Mansy to lead our company-wide morning chant and kombucha ritual
the finer print 
– Your go-to party trick is your dead-on impression of the yogi in “Sh*T Yogis Say”
– You voted for Pedro
– You have Chip Wilson, Bill Clinton, Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah Winfrey on speed dial
– You actively live and breathe the lululemon culture – on Friday afternoons you hit up wheatgrass and tequila shots (it’s called work/life balance)
– You use your third eye to channel innovation
– Your lineage is directly related to Phidippides
– You own yoga
———————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Yoga on Mars slightly worries me (even though inversions will come easy), but there’s one thing to take away here:

~ Andrea

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6 replies »

  1. great post. Oh now the India thing, it scares me quite a lot not unlike the ad above. where is a good place to start for a yogi that won’t rip my heart out with worry for everyone ( including cows) but still get a good yogi experience?

    Like

  2. Wonderful! Lulu Lemon is doing a great job at representing the materialistic, superficial and pretentious yoga that is being presented to western society as “spiritual”. They’ve really covered all the bases. I can now say with confidence that Lulu Lemon symbolizes all that is wrong with the yoga world — how convenient!

    Like

  3. I think they forgot to mention that as CEO, you also get to ask your clients to bend over to see if their recently purchased pants are transparent

    Like

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